My Left Foot

For those of you who know me as the "graceful swan" this story will surprise you.  O.K., no one knows me as the "graceful swan", but I wish I were a little more graceful.  I realize it will never happen, but at this point I just want to be able to walk, run, maybe hop a little?  But then there is my left foot, it is misbehaving badly or maybe it is a victim in all of this.  I'm not sure, but it hurts like nobody's business.

Last week while putting up clothing in stealth mode as the children slept I stubbed my left pinky toe on a door.  Oh how I stumped it.  Stumped or stubbed just doesn't seem quite the words to describe the violence inflicted on my teeniest of toes.  After impact I ran into our room and nothing makes me more descriptive or sailor-like than when I hurt my toe.  Dear Daddy Bee was at his desk just staring at me because I was a sight to behold.  My toe ended up a nice shade of purple rain.  I thought it was broken.  It looked broken.  Only an X-Ray would tell.....


The podiatrist gave me the good news it was not broken, but he said I know it hurts so I'm going to give you something for the pain.  I hobbled around and only took one pill and felt my baby toe feeling much better.  I even worked out one day and avoided anything to do with a toe tap.

Then after a work shoot last week I was visiting our local McDonalds for an unsweet tea and the use of their restrooms.  It was raining hard and I didn't realize the floor in McD's was wet. On the way out of the restrooms my left foot went air born.  I could feel all eyes on me in the crowded restaurant as I worked to stick my landing on my feet not my posterior. 

I lurched forward, then backward and settled on a ballerina's point with my two middle toes.  The second toe next to biggie taking the brunt of the landing.  I know the construction workers seated to my right saw right through my grimaced smile as I quickly exited in embarrassed hurry.  I thought briefly of telling an employee about the hazard lying wait near the back of their restaurant.  But, again with the embarrassed hurry, and who wants to stand at a counter while people wait for their fries and describe my toe problems.  Not me, not ever.  Even if I were to get Happy Meals for the rest of my natural life.

I tried to convince myself I had just twisted it a little, but the next morning it was painfully clear, in more ways than one, my left foot was clearly having a bad run of it.  My toe may be broken, but what can they do?  Tape them together, I can do that at home.  So, now I wait for better feet to come forward wearing my comfy Ugg-like boots and taking a pill or two until the day I will trade my feet for those of a supermodel or a super foot model.