Germ Warfare 101

Nothing strikes fear into a mother's heart quite like a public restroom. It is the fear of the unknown, the possibility of a germ or virus lingering on a knob, a handle, a door...you know the feeling. My children are quite the trained professionals at using their elbows to navigate doors and dryer buttons, using paper towels to handle trash cans, flushing with their foot, and alas, washing with soap and water. It may sound a little Mommy militant, but a new study backs up the cause for concern.

An article featured at www.momstylenews.com shows a poll conducted by Harris Interactive on behalf of LifeBridge Health reveals when in a public restroom without soap or towels, 74 percent of American adults who use public restrooms would rinse their hands with water and let them air dry.

“They might as well not even bother,” says John Cmar, M.D., an internist at LifeBridge Health’s Sinai Hospital of Baltimore and expert on infectious diseases. “Washing with water alone does not get rid of microbes – the action of working up a lather with soap, and then rinsing it off, is what washes them away. Plus, by touching the sink faucet – one of the dirtiest things in a restroom – these people could be adding even more germs to their hands.”

The study seems to show alarm over the H1N1 Flu is causing 8 out of 10 Americans to wash their hands more frequently. Infectious disease experts recommend scrubbing hands with soap and water for at least 15-20 seconds or as long as it takes to sing Happy Birthday through twice. When in doubt hand sanitizer can also be used to kill the germs.

It sounds so simple, but with young children it is not always easy to pull off the perfect restroom pit stop. Taking the time to teach good hand washing techniques can pay off in big dividends especially when your family isn't entertaining the latest germ on the block. Try instead to entertain with a nice round of Happy Birthday.

Pizza Pirates

My two younger boys and I decided to kidnap Daddy for lunch today. We looked in our super-duper coupon book for a deal and we settled on a trip to the local pizza buffet. The free adult entree with purchase of one entree seemed like a good deal.

We walked into the pizza buffet and were immediately greeted by a swashbuckling team of managers. We have visited this restaurant before but have never seen this many people working at once. They reminded me of a merry band of pirates, each one chanting corporate songs and wielding pizza pies as if on cue. It was surreal and a bit unnerving.

The manager who rang in our order looked at my coupon and sighed. He then tallied up my total. "That will be $17.67" he said.

I looked at the total and it seemed a bit high. "I'm sorry, did you take off the coupon?"

"Oh yes" he assured. "You just have to buy drinks when you use this coupon."

My foggy-Mommy brain could not do the computation as I wielded my own toddler, 4-year-old, and bottle of hand sanitizer to the nearest table. A table that proved too close to the actual buffet and too close to the merry band of pizza pirates who were waiting to address our every pizza need. They continued to chant songs, call out cues, and flit about as if pants were afire. I get indigestion just thinking about it.

My hubby soon pointed out Captain Corporate Pizza in the blue oxford shirt with the logo on his pocket. He was commanding the other workers about and striking fear in the hearts of any general manager in his path. I think this fear may be the cause of our being overcharged. I looked at my receipt and realized the nervous general manager had overcharged us by $5. I went back up to get what would likely become my Starbucks money.

We marveled at how one man, Captain Corporate, could set such a terrible tone for the entire restaurant. His brute management style and employee scare tactics had cost us an enjoyable meal, but watching the pizza pirates in action was somehow mildly amusing. Sort of like watching a reality TV show that you know is bad, but your just to weak to look away.

We walked out of the restaurant and as we were buckling up our little dumplings, the general manager walked out of the exit door and yelled over to our car and waved to us. "Good to see you folks, come back soon!" He never stopped walking and went straight back into the entrance door like a cuckoo clock chiming the demise of a pleasant meal. I think he knew we had witnessed a siege and his band of pizza pirates were not so much merry as mired in corporate menace. It is a shame that some believe these tactics an effective way to motivate employees. It certainly does not motivate digestion.

Here Comes the Joy

When something inspires us and makes us smile, no matter how small, isn't it worth passing along?

Jill and Kevin Heinz had no idea their hip-hop walk down the aisle would become an internet sensation. They decided to for go the traditional wedding march for a choreographed dance to Forever by Chris Brown. The bridal party went for the idea and did their own joyful dances with varying degrees of skill. The couple's wedding guests smiled and laughed as they witnessed this unconventional walk down the aisle. If you watch the video you too can see and feel the joy of their special day. You almost feel like you are watching a movie, where Hugh Grant will roll down the aisle at any moment.

The happy couple posted the 5 minute wedding video onto YouTube shortly after their June 20th nuptials at a St. Paul, Minn. church. The Heinzes say they figured only family and friends would enjoy the video. But after appearances on Good Morning America and other news programs, the wedding entrance currently is closing in on 13 million hits.

The Boy's Club

Apparently there are special privileges awaiting mothers of boys.

"You get to walk right through the pearly gates", the 70-something gentleman chortled to himself as he watched me try to wrangle my three-boy posse through a crowded store. Later the same day as my two oldest jockeyed for position on my shopping cart the sweetest lady smiled and proclaimed to me that there was a silver-lined cloud waiting for me someday. I am not sure what prompted these celestial endorsements, but I am sure it had something to do with my three-man vaudeville variety act. For some reason the sight of boys in triplicate brings out musing stares, knowing glances, and lots of sage advice.

Boys are fun. The energy is boundless and the questions keep coming. Boys have a penchant for finding the action with such sticky-sweet peanut butter and jelly perfection. I love this about my guys: the ability to savor any moment no matter how simple. Whether it's a rock in the road or a giant toad in our backyard you can bet the excitement just never ends. I wish I could be so easily entertained.

But this boundless energy and curiosity seems to be lost on some folks. Sometimes when we are in the public eye I can sense others not quite relishing in the magic of my trio's youthful exuberance. Take the gentleman that fixes our eye glasses. After my middle guy's eleventh lap around the lobby, the man proclaimed "energy is wasted on youth". I smiled my apologetic smile and wondered if this particular brand of commentary was jealousy or annoyance. I had trouble telling the difference, but I have a feeling annoyance could be the first reason. I was certainly almost there myself.

In the many "boy" books I have read recently it talks about how boys are all gross motor and abound with constant energy. The trick for me is directing all of that seemingly immortal energy into constructive activity. We have soccer, the pool, bikes, running, and digging in the dirt. Trips to the mountains, museums, and aquariums are also favorites.

My little pack is constantly on the go and there seems to be no end in sight for what they can do with their energy. I adore their logic finding and inquisitive quests for all life has to offer. At the end of the day I know the fun of "boy wrangling" is an investment in their future, even if it takes lots of parental gasoline to pull it off.

So about that cloud....I'll take the cumulus spa package please.

A Ring Bearer is Ring Security

Weddings are always fun, but the wedding we attended yesterday was simply beautiful. The bride is a good friend of our family. We have watched this sweet young lady go to college, graduate, become a teacher, and now marry the man of her dreams. So we were delighted when she asked our 3-year-old to be her ring bearer for the big day. My son was so excited and announced he was going to be a "reindeer" at the wedding. We all had a good laugh and explained the job title was actually called ring bearer, which he confidently replied, "Oh yeah, ring bear." And so, "ring bear" it was.

He was very serious about his duties and looked dashing in his tuxedo. We chose his outfit at the tuxedo store. It was a tuxedo they sell for young boys instead of renting. It was actually fifty dollars less than renting to buy the tuxedo. So we snapped it up and figured we could save it for our youngest or sell it on Craig's List. Our ring bear complimented the groomsman and looked great next to the flower girl.

For the rehearsal, the Bride and her Mom got my son the cutest t-shirt to wear for practice. It was black and said "Ring Security" on the back. He loved it and looked like a real security detail. All he needed was an ear piece to authenticate the outfit. You can find these shirts at craft stores like Michaels.

I was curious about the tradition of the ring bearer or "ring bear" Here is what I found

What is a Ring Bearer:
A ring bearer is usually a young boy between the ages of 3 and 8 who has a special connection to the bride and groom. He may be related to them, or just be a family friend. He walks down the aisle immediately after the flower girl, or last bridesmaid, with the wedding rings tied to a small pillow.

How to Choose a Ring Bearer:
Look for a responsible young man who is important in your life, and will take his role seriously. If you are having trouble choosing between two ring bearers, there's no reason why you can't have two ring bearers. Give them each a ring to carry and send them down the aisle together. Or, if you're having a long train, get two boys to act as pages or trainbearers instead. Avoid choosing someone who is too young – he will be confused and perhaps scared. An older boy may be more suited for a job such as reader. If your only choices are unsuitable or not that close to you, there's is no reason why you have to have a ring bearer – simply give the rings to the best man to hold.

Preparing Your Ring Bearer For His Role, and Calming the Nerves
I recommend buying a book about being a ring bearer- he'll know what his role is, and understand it's importance. Seat his parents on the aisle, near the front so that he can see them when he walks down the aisle and during the ceremony itself. Ask a groomsman to be his "buddy" and make sure he uses the restroom before the ceremony. You may wish to ask his parents to cut down on the sugar intake the morning of the wedding. Avoid the pressure on him by tying only fake rings to the pillow, and wait to give him the pillow until immediately before he goes down the aisle. Also, ask his parents to bring a change of clothes – young girls are usually happy to wear dressy clothes all day, but young boys are often itching to get out of them! Most importantly, remember the younger your ring bearer, the more you have to be prepared to be okay with whatever happens. If you're the perfectionist type, choose an older ringbearer, or go without.

Cool Beans for Coffee..Caffeine Eases Pain

On some mornings you might call a cup of coffee my best friend with benefits. It gives me that little caffeine push I need to start what is usually an action packed day. So imagine my delight that my beloved java juice may also help me endure the pain of daily workouts. A new study from the University of Illinois shows what many exercise enthusiasts have unknowingly suspected for years, coffee helps lessen the pain of exercise.

Some people use caffeine before workouts in the hopes of metabolizing fat faster, but actually the study shows the greater benefit seems to be that caffeine allows them to push harder and go for longer more intense workouts. Researchers say they know why caffeine makes exercise not hurt as much. The caffeine works to block the pain processors in a person's brain and spinal cord. There also does not seem to be a tolerance level for the amount of coffee needed. This latest study on caffeine and pain appears in the April edition of the International Journal of Sports Nutrition and Exercise Metabolism.

So the next time you pick up that Starbucks, Caribou, or whatever trips your cup of Joe fantastic, take heart knowing you can now go out and boldly push it to your ultimate fitness level or just maybe my favorite sport: Toddler Wrangling.

Missing Mom

It is Christmas time, my favorite time of the year. Usually the joy of the season, the festive atmosphere, and the true meaning of Christmas is something I drink in and relish with every fiber of my being. But this year, I am without one of my most precious gifts, my Mother. She was always the center of our family celebrations radiating her own special child-like wonder and excitement. When she died suddenly this past Spring, I did not realize how my grief would flow like a slow moving river through birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and now, here it is Christmas.

Mom was most excited when there was a present under the tree with her name on it. She was never good at waiting for surprises. She was known to unwrap, take a peek, and wrap again, a prized Christmas gift. Whether it was a wrapped box or even her daughter's belly, she wanted to know the surprise inside. When I was pregnant with our first born, my husband and I decided to wait until the birth to find out the sex of our baby. Mom, or Nana as she would soon be called, could not believe we would not, could not, find out. I think she felt us completely obligated to provide her this information. I remember in exasperation her saying to me, "Everyone finds out what they are having, I don't know anyone who does not know if it is a girl or a boy." Mom loved to spoil a surprise, but maybe it was more about controlling what life hands you next.

My Mom grew up among very dire economic realities. Only now am I learning just how harsh her childhood upbringing must have been on her. Sometimes they had very little food, heat, and clothing to satisfy. My Father only recently told me a story about why she always loved her electric blanket. Dad said as a small child Mom used to huddle together in bed with my Grandmother for warmth. They lived in a small, paper-thin house (if you could call it a house) in her Aunt's backyard. They eventually moved into the "big house" when the Aunts died. My Mom's Father had passed away when she was only three years old. I remember as a child on visits to my Grandmother's house seeing that small little shack in the backyard. I always thought it was an old playhouse. I use to look in the windows and could only see dirty old wall paper. I am glad someone finally tore that little house down.

During this past Thanksgiving holiday my Dad asked me to help clean out Mom's closets. I was willing to help him with this, and I wanted to help with this, but I was not prepared for the emotional toll it would take on me. As I went through her closets full of clothes, I felt like I was trespassing. Each outfit told a story of her life journey. The fancy gowns she wore when she gave birth to my brother at Vanderbilt Hospital in 1974, the dress she wore at my Christmas wedding (red her favorite color), the floral dress from Easter 1992, her everyday outfits, and her famous flannel pj's. The only thing missing was the beautiful pink dress I bought her to wear for my brother's wedding. It was not in the closet. We chose to bury her in that pink dress.

As each day grows closer to Christmas, I am enjoying the excitement my three boys are building. I am wrapping gifts, playing songs, and moving through the motions of pending celebration, but ever so often my heart cries out in loss and I can hardly explain the triggers. One afternoon last week as I idled in the drive-through line at a fast food restaurant the song "I'll Be Home for Christmas" came over the air. The words moved me to sing and suddenly the tears were flowing. I realized how much Mom loved that song and would sing it, off key, whenever the chance. I also realized I would be home for Christmas this year without her smile, her love, and her childlike curiosity. I do not think you ever grow too old to need your mother's love and I know something will be missing this year. But you know, I do still feel her love and only hope I can share her gentle spirit and wide-eyed wonder with my boys. I want them to know their Nana was pure joy on earth. Oh, how we will miss her.